The pain value of the run was somewhere between Abu Grab and listening to George Clooney speak his mind.

As we started the race, the announcer said this is the hilliest 5K in the world, and I don’t doubt it. It starts out with a half mile ascent straight up this 20% graded hill and that is the easiest hill of the run. I felt good because some young 18 year old punk shot out ahead and made it to the top of the first hill, but he petered out and I passed him about four miles into it.

I finished in under 30 minutes and in the top 25% of the field. The people that beat me are as follows:

• A gentleman that worked for the overland mail service in Kenya
• A Winter Olympian from Austria who cluttered my path with syringes
• A woman with an inexplicably large ass sporting a ponderous amount of junk in the trunk that somehow stayed in front of me the entire time, making me feel like a brotha in da club.

Here are some pictures from the event, including one of me doing the running man pose in the backyard while Ethan grabbed a shot.

There was also a bike race afterwards that I was not in. I spent that hour passed out in a pile of leaves. Here is a picture of the finish line about 45 minutes into the race, when more people were still finishing. I was just glad not to be last, which I fully expected to be. Oh in that picture above, that young guy tried to pass me in the end but I held him off only because there was a good Hans Zimmer tune on my iPod.