I got into Palm Beach late after a bad connection in Chicago. I was in a real hurry to get down to Fort Lauderdale for a meeting, and I quickly negotiated a very open and confusing deal with my driver. I told him I needed him to drive me around for the rest of the day and night. I told him I needed to go to Ft. Lauderdale while not sparing the horses, to wait outside while I had the meeting, to drive me back to Palm Beach, then to drive me to dinner, and then finally back to my hotel again.

After I got in the car, I realized that I really needed to pee, but I was late for the meeting and it was an hour away. I kept looking over there on the right at that champagne bottle, and I spent HALF the trip thinking about pouring out the champagne and peeing in the bottle. I thought of many many good reasons to justify the action, including that it was my limo for the day, and that is just the sort of thing that happens in limos.

At the end of the night, it came time to pay him. It was $260! The worst thing was, he wanted it in cash! I made him drive me to a grocery store so I could get his stupid money. Here he is with the money in his hand, and he will probably use it to launch some Nigerian email scam.

(Dear Humble Sirs or Madame, I have for you pictures in the sum of one (1) for this to take care of. Please to return send to my communication to receive your pictures. I kindly await your response at [email protected].)