I saw this today and thought it was kinda funny. You gotta click on it for some reason… I don’t know why… I don’t really understand computers and I think they are a fad.

A friend of mine from Florida sent this to me today… a few funny ones in there.

20 ways to maintain your sanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom and do not disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In”.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “For Sexual Favors!”

7. Finish all of your sentences with; “In accordance with the prophecy.”

8. Don’t use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are, then laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock-Hard.

17. When the money comes out he ATM, scream “I won! I won!”

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…

20. Do this once a month and its called therapy…..

There is more piracy in Malaysia than anywhere else I have been. There are endless stores with copied DVDs and games. PC games are especially popular here to pirate and innovative pirate/salesmen have figured out ways to combine products, since more than one game can fit on a DVD. You see a lot of compilations of FPS games, RTS games, and the like. But here is one rather unusual combination: Singles VS Imperial Glory. It’s a match made in heaven.

Printed from this week’s Libertarian Humorist featured article:

Trent Lott’s Hair is Cool

..and the need for a Republican Coolness Ombudsman

Trey Ratcliff

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No it’s not; nor is the hair of most power-Republicans in the Senate. What is it about these die-hard conservatives? I know they’re not too big on evolution, so maybe this is why their hairstyles stopped evolving around the time of Darwin.

The American public would generally think Republicans were cooler if they would elect Senate leaders and spokesman that looked a heck of a lot cooler than Trent Lott or Tom Delay. I’m not talking Pauly Shore cool, but more like Ron Livingston cool (that guy from Office Space). Can you imagine Ron up there in front of the mikes on capitol hill or on Larry King, leaning back, and saying, “You know Larry, all this tax stuff? It’s BS.”

So, we all know I am an ardent Libertarian and I generally think the Republicans are just as bad as the Democrats in a lot of ways. But I do know why the Republicans have such a hard time resonating with a big chunk of America, and I guarantee you it is because of these stodgy stooges with hair that could block gamma rays.

Look at the Daily Show crowd. The obsequious crowd led by their reluctant host, Jon Stewart, roar in laughter as soon as a picture of Trent Lott appears on his screen. People see Lott, and they think of a 1940’s Republican that’s got a few slaves back at home that still haven’t heard about that Emancipation Proclamation thing. This “Daily Show Demographic” is the one thing keeping the Republicans from a tiny majority to a super-majority – and it is stiffs like Trent Lott that are getting in the way.

Not that Trent Lott is a bad guy, but he’s just not cool enough for mass market media appeal. Unfortunately, that is extremely important in today’s world. Worse, there is a ghastly cycle where uncool Republicans keep themselves, like an exclusive club, in the elite media spotlight by sitting around and lauding themselves with reciprocal encomiums. Guys like Lott can actually run the show in the background, but they should elect majority leaders and other spokesman that can make a cool splash in the media.

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There will always be Republicans with bad hair, but they should stay out of camera shot. People in Mississippi, Kansas, and Texas and other places feel very comfortable electing Republicans that have the same haircut as their pastors that stop by the local BBQ joint after Sunday service to share cole-slaw with their flocks.

And as long as the Republicans are seeking a “coolness ombudsman”, there is another important job for that person, besides keeping Tom Delay in the closet, which is a location, I am sure he would agree, that is better than being out of the closet. This critical secondary task is to pre-filter candidates from even running; in this case, Gary Bauer.

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I actually did a Google search to find this picture, and on the first page, a picture of Arnold from Different Strokes came up too. I think this is because Google is using this new height-matching algorithm.

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A Republican Coolness Ombudsman would immediately grab people like Gary (Bauer, not Coleman) by the shoulders and tell him to please, please not run. Not only does he have no chance of winning, but he also needs psychological counseling to figure out why he is unable to take an objective look at himself. Worse, his TV time just reminds people of the “inner stiff” inside every Republican.

If the leadership for the Republicans doesn’t begin to get a clue on how to be cool, the general public will continue to mistake CSPAN for the 700 Club. At least those guys at the 700 Club know how to party like it’s 1 BC.

After a phone call to the city of Milford (where I am pretty sure I heard a pig being slopped in the background), I was informed that the arrest warrant was for a speeding ticket. I explained to them that I paid it right away, since I am a good citizen. I then heard them shuffling around some papers and she said, “I can’t find it.” I told her that she might want to check a filing cabinet or something, because I doubt it was actually on her desk. She then excoriated, “That will be $495 to have the arrest warrant lifted.”

So I sent the damn check. Oh here, I found a picture of the Milford city hall:

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I saw this picture today of Saddam that the press released, as the ol’ dictator was vituperating against the system to get more access to his lawyer.

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Look at those glasses! Don’t those look like the glasses that people donate at the doctor’s office when it is time for a new pair? I think those might have been some of Charles Nelson Reilly’s old glasses right before he got his “cool”ones for the Match Game.

And what would a conversation look like between Saddam and his legal counsel?

Attorney: We are still looking for exculpatory evidence, Mr. Hussein.

Saddam: I miss my palace in all its 70’s Vegas slendor.

Attorney: Do you think we can get any of your old generals to suborn themselves?

Saddam: I’ll never forget when I gave my son his first rape room. That was a sweet day.

Attorney: Please Mr. Hussein, we have to focus here if we are going to put together a defense.

Saddam: Can we get some more Doritos in here before get all up in ‘yo face and call Amnesty International?

I vow to double my intake of meat after seeing this video, double my consumption of oil, and quadruple my brilliant exercise of capitalism.

For those of you that can’t see the video, it is a fairly stupid little video that shows Bush picking up a Blair puppet on the street corner like a prostitute then taking it to a hotel for a Monica.

Anyone that is “concerned” about global warming should go read Michael Crichton’s article at http://www.s8int.com/crichton.html. Bottom line, global warming has increased worldwide temps by 0.5 degrees in the last 100 years, and there is no indication that humans have caused it.

Moreover, global temps actually dropped between the years of 1940 to 1970. How would this be possible as human industrialization continued to increase during that time?

Greenpeace is effectively full of nihilists that do not believe or even understand the greatness of capitalism. Fortunately, most of these liberal lachrymose lackeys will get beat up at WTO protests, arrested, then will go back to their room in the basement at their mom’s house. The rest of us that believe in capitalism will be out there having a good time and eating expensive steaks at nice restaurants.

Also, it is obvious that if Greenpeace was really pro-environment, they would be twice as concerned with CHINA as they apparently are with Bush and Blair. Even if Greenpeace’s nonsense was correct about fossil fuels causing global warming, it is China that is on the way to being the biggest “abuser”. Oh well… why try to logically break apart their argument? It’s futile to argue with people who cannot have a rational look at science from both sides of the issue.

I’ll just sit back and eat a steak and be happy, thinking about all these liberal environmentalist women with hairy legs that are bitter about life because their lives are so empty they have fallen for this Greenpeace cult.

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And commenting on the actual video itself. That puppet is a horrible Tony Blair! I went through the first part thinking that it was supposed to be Bush? Or maybe even George Soros? And doesn’t the whole BJ thing remind people more of Clinton than Bush? Anyway, I can’t get over what a bad puppet that was… Maybe they had to make it look really bad because it had to be bio-degradable.

My treatise is that people should be able to use the internet to download PBS programs with reckless abandon.

Take, for instance, the most recent airing of “Guns, Germs, and Steel” by Jared Diamond. This is a three-part documentary that is based on the book of the same name. I’ve bought the book and even the CDs, although those transactions are not germane to this discussion.

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Anything on Public BS should be freely downloadable by whoever wants to see it. As a taxpayer, I have already paid for it. As a Libertarian, I am 100% against the use of public funds for television, but that is neither here nor there now, since I my hard-earned money has already been confiscated and used to produce Guns, Germs, and Steel. I have a feeling that the busy-body FCC would currently choose to expurgate any digital versions of PBS shows floating around the internet.

I have looked up the mission statement for PBS, and it differs slightly for each territory, but only in the exact location. It is:

PBS 39’s purpose is to improve the quality of life of the citizens of [insert city] by creating and disseminating multimedia content that educates, engages and inspires.

Since I missed the first airing of Guns, Germs, and Steel, I decided to simply download it. Why not? a) I already paid for it and b) it is the mission of PBS to educate citizens. In fact, PBS should seed the download themselves, sine qua non.

Either way, I generally hate PBS and NPR. They are hopelessly liberal and socialist-leaning. Luckily, they occasionally make programs that are interesting and I can still “filter out” the nonsense commentary that is thrown in that is either blatently anti-American, environmentalist wacko, or anti-capitalism.

I first found out about Walter Williams a few years ago and he and we have built an occasional email correspondence. He’s a great guy and a fantastic economist. Williams is a professor at George Mason University. Here he is, “black by popular demand,” as he is wont to say.

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excerpt from “Aid to Africa”

Let’s examine the “vicious cycle of poverty” myth and whether foreign aid is a necessary ingredient for economic development. The U.S., Britain, France, Canada and most other countries were once poor. Andrew Bernstein of the Ayn Rand Institute wrote in an article titled “Capitalism Is the Cure for Africa’s Problems” that pre-industrial Europe was vastly poorer than contemporary Africa.

A relatively well-off country, like France, experienced several famines between the 15th and 18th centuries as well as plagues and diseases that sometimes killed hundreds of thousands. In France, life expectancy was 20 years, in Ireland it was 19 years, and in early 18th-century London, more than 74 percent of the children died before reaching age 5.

Beginning in the late 18th century, there was a dramatic economic turnabout in Europe. How in the world did these once poor and backward countries break the “vicious cycle of poverty” and become wealthy, without what today’s development experts say is absolutely necessary for economic growth – foreign aid handouts, World Bank and International Monetary Fund loans, and billions of dollars of debt forgiveness?

Full Article Here

I saw these quotes listed the other day and I had to laugh… For those of you that do not know, this is in reference to a game that is STILL not out, in July of 2005!

“We’re confident that DNF will be one of the greatest, if not the greatest, game of 1998. And this confidence is not misplaced.” - Scott Miller, 1997

“Duke Nukem Forever is a 1999 game and we think that timeframe matches very well with what we have planned for the game.” - George Broussard, 1998

“Trust us, Duke Nukem Forever will rock when it comes out next year.” - Joe Siegler, 1999

“When it’s done in 2001.” - 2000 Christmas card

“DNF will come out before Unreal 2.” - George Broussard, 2001

“If DNF is not out in 2001, something’s very wrong.” - George Broussard, 2001

“DNF will come out before Doom 3.” - George Broussard, 2002

Well for those of you that know me, I love Ann Coulter! She cracks me up and I wish more people had her sense of humor about politics. As most of you know, I am a die-hard Libertarian, but I generally agree with most everything this gal says.

Below is an excerpt from one of her articles entitled “Beauty Pageants Can Be Murder” over at Human Events.

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Inasmuch as liberals are demanding that Americans ritualistically proclaim, “Islam is a religion of peace,” Muslims might do their part by not killing people all the time.

Recently, the Religion of Peace suffered a p.r. setback when Muslims in Nigeria welcomed the Miss World beauty pageant by slaughtering Christians in the street and burning churches to the ground. At last count, more than 200 people were dead, hundreds more were injured, and thousands were left without homes. Also, the Nigerian contestant’s chances of winning “Miss Congeniality” were dashed.

Leaping at the one chance they had to attract positive press to their country and perhaps begin the process of dragging themselves out of the 13th Century, Nigerian Muslims instead chose to back innocent people to death with machetes in the name of Allah. Pageant officials pulled up stakes and took the show to London. At least the Christian-carving faithful can sleep at night knowing they’ve secured a place for themselves in heaven alongside Mohamed Atta.

One can assume the director of the Nigerian Department of Tourism isn’t too pleased. Winning the pageant site had been an uphill battle from the beginning. Some of the more closed-minded Miss World participants had already begun carping about the upcoming stoning of a Nigerian woman, in accordance with Islamic sharia law.

The president of Nigeria, Olusegun Obasanjo, tried to downplay the murderous rampage by cheerfully -explaining: “The beauty queens should not feel that they are the cause of the violence. It could happen at any time irresponsible journalism is committed against Islam.” Well, that’s a relief.

It seems an article in a Nigerian newspaper had mused that the Prophet Muhammad “would probably have chosen a wife” from among the Miss World contestants. This upset the practitioners of the Religion of Peace, whose polygamous prophet preferred his wives a little younger.

They expressed their displeasure with the article by bludgeoning, stabbing and burning Christians to death. In one part of Nigeria, enforcers of the Religion of Peace commanded that Muslims kill Isioma Daniel, the authoress of the blasphemy. (Overheard at Miss World contest: “Does this make me look fatwa?”)

The New York Times can’t bear to think that their little darlings-angry, violent Muslims-could be at fault in this melee. That makes no sense because Islam is a Religion of Peace. So the Times reviewed the facts, processed it through the PC prism, and spat out the headline: “Religious Violence in Nigeria Drives Out Miss World Event.” According to the Times, rampaging Muslims pouring out of mosques to kill Christians and torch churches resulted from “the tinderbox of religious passions in the country.”

Islam is peaceful, but religion causes violence. Pay no attention to the fact that the most bloodthirsty cult in the 20th Century was an atheistic sect known as communism. But that was not “true communism,” just as Muslim terrorists are not practicing “true Islam.”

Maddox has given a nice synopsis of what a moron Cameron Diaz is, in typical Maddox style. It’s definitely worth a look.
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Of course, for the REAL information and a good perspective on all that environmental nonsense, you should read Michael Crichton’s new book “State of Fear”.
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Chrichton also wrote a fantastic essay on Global Warming, with which I wholeheartedly agree, that you can read here. It’s called “Aleins Cause Global Warming,” and here is a little excerpt:

As the twentieth century drew to a close, the connection between hard scientific fact and public policy became increasingly elastic. In part this was possible because of the complacency of the scientific profession; in part because of the lack of good science education among the public; in part, because of the rise of specialized advocacy groups which have been enormously effective in getting publicity and shaping policy; and in great part because of the decline of the media as an independent assessor of fact.

I saw that Diane Feinstein sent out a letter with the following inane comments lately:

Thank you for writing to me about the digital broadcast flag. I appreciate hearing from you.
I feel strongly that we must prevent the theft of copyrighted works, and that includes digital television (DTV) programming. As we move forward in the digital age, it is increasingly easy for unauthorized copies of copyrighted works to be made and illegally distributed. Over-the-air digital content is the easiest to pirate.

As we contemplate the use of new technologies to protect copyrighted works, we must pay careful attention to ensure that a balance is struck between competitive protections and individual consumer interests. It is important to allow for the continued fair use of copyrighted material, even while we seek to stop unauthorized reproductions from being illegally distributed outside the home and over the Internet.

Again, thank you for writing. Please know that as the Senate considers legislation of the broadcast flag, I will be sure to keep your views in mind. If you should have any questions, please feel free to contact my Washington, DC staff at (202) 224-3841.

See this is a good example of a stupid Democrat or Republican senator that doesn’t know anything about anything, and they are using that lack of knowledge to pass nonsensical laws that inhibit us. Please, leave it to the Libertarians to “rule” the world. When it comes to file shariing, it is obvious that private industry can react better to threats than the Federal Government. Case in point: Apple. Look at what Apple’s iTunes has done to curb piracy compared to the US Gov’t.